Liz Jones's Diary

In which Liz goes on a break

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are both going on holiday so the podcast is taking a break. But never fear, the pair are here this week with some of their best moments from the last few hundred episodes. Think men, fashion, animals and (sadly for Nic) Liz singing her heart out.

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In which Liz longs for London

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz has found a new heroine in the Lionesses' goalkeeper Mary Earps while Nic is trying to transform herself into Davina McCall. Liz is making a pros and cons list for moving back to London, and inspired by her magazine cover at 78, the pair look back to Liz’s interview with Dame Helen Mirren.

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In which Liz enters house-hunting hell

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz is looking forward to her mini break with Mini the dog, and Nic's looking forward to lighting Liz's expensive candles and using all her beauty products while she's house sitting. The pair look back to Liz's ill-fated trip to Glastonbury but Liz might have to dust off her old tent if she doesn't find a house to buy soon.

If you'd like to know more about Nic's farm-animal fundraising campaign, you can do read more here: https://gofund.me/41d02d59

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In which Liz finds the love of her life

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 16:47:18 +0000

Liz finds a new movie about a female writer whose husband dislikes her writing all too familiar. Nic, after hearing from two psychics that she’s ‘let herself go’, has picked up a new hobby that she hopes will bring her mojo back. Time for her to bust out her boas! Plus, Liz explains why actually, traveling with a younger man is not the dream you’d think it’d be.

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In which Liz plans for a wedding

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are transported back to their childhoods by a book about the writing of Black Beauty, but is the way we treat animals now any better than in the Victorian era? Liz has found the perfect dress for a wedding, but who should she take with her? Plus, Liz receives some sage relationship advice from a reader.

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In which Liz receives a VIP invitation

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are celebrating the ultimate break-up song after hearing about Sinéad O’Connor’s death, plus the pair give their review of the Oppenheimer film (Nic still thinks they should have seen Barbie instead). Liz has a VIP invite, but is it really VIP if you’re filling a ‘slot’? Plus the pair look back at the time Liz faced off against Katie Price at the Cambridge Union.

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In which Liz faces up to her past

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 15:45:00 +0000

The pair are talking about Jane Birkin after news of her death this week, but Liz isn’t sure she’d be happy with all the obituaries naming the Birkin Bag as her legacy. Meanwhile, Nic’s been to see the new Mission Impossible film and can’t stop thinking about being in a Tom Cruise sandwich, and a listener has an exciting update on Liz’s financial situation…

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In which Liz has a painful flashback

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz is ready to have the final word on the disastrous date with her ex-husband. Plus the pair have an update on Mini puppy’s cancer diagnosis and Liz remembers the time she resorted to throwing a rock over Brigitte Bardot’s wall to secure an interview.

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In which Liz views a not-so-des res

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 17:23:05 +0000

In honour of Pride this weekend, Nic dives into a book written by a straight trans couple, offering a unique perspective intro a life so different to her own. Liz takes a look at her own struggles with her invisible disability: deafness. She looks back at the impactful performance of a deaf actress on Strictly Come Dancing back in 2021.

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In which Liz grieves for her former self

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz has been shopping and as well an oversized blazer and a Dries van Noten t-shirt she’s picked up a few pearls of shopping wisdom to share. Nic has discovered she has at least one thing in common with Jennifer Aniston, and reader Alex thinks Liz needs to see a psychic. Plus, Liz has had Botox but is worried people will think she’s being frivolous.

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In which Liz makes an indecent proposal

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 15:45:00 +0000

After the terrible news from Nottingham, Liz and Nic are reminded of the amazing power of dogs to help people struggling with grief. Plus, Nic becomes an influencer (look out Kim Kardashian) and Liz sends a very risky text to David 1.0.

If you'd like to contact Debbie, the oracle card reader, for a reading, email: debbie.addis@googlemail.com

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In which Liz reaches her boiling point

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 17:18:57 +0000

Liz, once again, finds modern media shocking while watching Johnny Depp’s daughter star in a new series she finds problematic (to say the least). Nic helps Liz find out what ’Turkey teeth’ are before looking back at Liz’ column about the housing market that’s still all too relevant today.

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In which Liz makes an emotional journey

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz finally brings Gracie home this week, but she’s backed herself into a corner (literally and metaphorically) whilst doing it. Nic has been called out by a listener over something she said in last week’s episode, and the pair look back to a very prophetic interview with Holly Willoughby in 2010.

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In which Liz is left in sudden shock

Fri, 26 May 2023 15:45:00 +0000

After last week’s news about Gracie, lots have listeners have been in touch but the pair have been trying to distract themselves; Liz with a book about troubled famous people and Nic with the new Barbie trailer (she’s a convert). Plus Liz looks back at the time she went to Marbella with the TOWIE lot and one young woman got Einstein and Frankenstein confused.

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In which Liz clutches on to hope

Fri, 19 May 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have some very sad news to share this week and listeners are getting a double bill of the column because it wouldn’t be fair to keep everyone guessing. But some things never change, and Liz has still had a ‘Miranda Priestly’ moment this week (people in Yorkshire need better taste and a better sense of humour apparently!) Plus a reader has got a LOT of questions for the pair.

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In which Liz tries to arrange a getaway

Fri, 12 May 2023 15:45:00 +0000

The pair are getting excited for Eurovision this weekend - Liz will be looking out for her friend Rylan but Nic misses Terry Wogan. It’s reminded Liz of the time she went to the opening of Mama Mia. The Party! in Stockholm and was told by her editor to make her review ‘more joyful’. Plus, Liz is getting closer to booking her holiday to Italy, but David throws a spanner in the works.

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In which Liz ponders a sunshine break

Fri, 05 May 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have finished watching Married at First Sight Australia, and discuss just how much reality TV can teach us about our own lives. Liz is planning a possible mini-break, but which David has she invited to go with her? Plus, with the Coronation coming up, Liz looks back to her interview with the designer who will be dressing Queen Camilla, Bruce Oldfield.

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In which Liz house-hunts in her old hood

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz has come to a realisation this week, that her two great loves are horse… and Janice Dickinson. Nic has had enough of AI getting into every part of our lives which reminds Liz of the time she went to a Stanley Kubrick exhibition at the Design Museum. Plus, Liz has made a decision about White Ferrari Guy (and dating ‘normal people’ in general).

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In which Liz is distracted on her date

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 15:45:00 +0000

This week Liz has her date with White Ferrari Man, but an email about her ex-husband threatens to ruin it all. The pair have been watching Obsession, a remake of Josephine Hart’s novel, Damage, and Liz is convinced her latest book is both more groundbreaking and MUCH sexier. Plus, a reader gets in touch with some words of affirmation.

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In which Liz longs to feel joy again

Fri, 14 Apr 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Liz is devastated that Meghan won’t be coming to the Coronation next month (but is wondering if she should maybe go in her place). Nic thinks joining Rock Choir might cheer Liz up a bit, but the suggestion doesn’t go down well. Plus, after the news of Mary Quant's death, the pair look back to Liz and her mum (and her Singer sewing machine) making fashion history.

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In which Liz goes for an upgrade

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 15:50:00 +0000

Liz has been reading a new book about anorexia, and is amazed by how similar the author’s experience is to her own. Plus, this week Liz took her unexpected gift in for an upgrade, but what does this mean for the man who sent it to her? And Nic is delighted when a reader compliments her singing.

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In which Liz gets a surprise delivery

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 15:45:00 +0000

Nic has had an erotic experience (relating to Keanu Reeves and some nunchucks) and Liz has been fascinated by the Gwyneth Paltrow trial - which has made her think of the time she met the woman herself, and worked out what her company GOOP is named for. Plus, Liz has received an unexpected gift in the post but should she accept it?

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In which Liz (reluctantly) arranges a date

Fri, 24 Mar 2023 16:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are thinking about reality TV this week, after watching a documentary about Love Island’s Georgia Harrison and revenge porn - and it reminds Liz of her time in the Big Brother House. Plus, Liz has reluctantly agreed to a date with White Ferrari Guy, it is he trying to put her down already?

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In which Liz seeks celestial solace

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 16:45:00 +0000

Liz is looking to the Northern Lights to soothe her troubles, but which way is she supposed to face?! The pair have finally found a man they both fancy, but only Liz has spent the night with him (he thanked her for her support after!) Plus, lots of readers have been in touch with advice and support for Liz.

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In which Liz feels that she can’t go on

Fri, 10 Mar 2023 16:45:00 +0000

Liz has not quite perfected her ‘gracious loser face’ after a disappointment at an awards ceremony, but it’s reminded her of her brush with Hollywood royalty 20 years ago at the Oscars. Nic’s been watching a new George Michale documentary, and wondering why we think celebrities owe us any of their private lives. Plus, Liz has realised the only thing that will make her truly happy is financial security (but a £9 bottle of Crémont from Lidl will have to do for now!)

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In which Liz’s stress takes its toll

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 14:10:36 +0000

Liz and Nic consider ageism, the dumbest bigotry of all. Maybe it’s time women embrace the term ‘hag’. Some good news – Liz is no longer homeless! And in preparation for London Fashion Week, the pair look back at Liz’s column from LFW 2012. Spoilers – Liz wasn’t impressed.

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In which Liz hugs her collies even closer

Fri, 24 Feb 2023 16:45:00 +0000

Both Liz and Nic have been to the cinema this week - but not together, Liz’s tastes are too high-brow for Nic. Liz is getting worries about Gracie (the collie) and Nic is manifesting a better future. Plus the pair delve into the podcast reviews and some listeners have not held back with their opinions!

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In which Liz’s anxiety hits the roof (again)

Fri, 17 Feb 2023 16:45:00 +0000

Nic has been to see the new Magic Mike film, and even her mother sitting next to her in the cinema didn’t ruin her enjoyment. Liz has had a terrible Tuesday (she can never return to York after that!) and the pair look back at Liz’s interview with the beautiful Raquel Welch. Plus Liz is convinced Nic’s life is a Carry On film.

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In which Liz’s reflection gets her down

Fri, 10 Feb 2023 16:45:00 +0000

Liz is marking the passing of Burt Bacharach by performing some his greatest hits on the podcast and Nic is wondering if she can disguise one of the collies as a beagle. Liz is reminded of her interview with Imran Khan after the Pakistan earthquake in 2005, and the pair receive a very mansplain-y email.

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In which curiosity gets the better of Liz

Fri, 03 Feb 2023 16:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are getting excited for the final episode of Happy Valley, but why can’t female leads be complicated and unpleasant just like men? Liz has given in to temptation and asked David 2.0 for a ‘quick’ drink, but is he really worth her time? Plus the pair have received a lot of post this week, not all of them good…

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In which Liz commits a cardinal sin

Fri, 27 Jan 2023 16:45:00 +0000

This week’s podcast is dedicated to Madonna - finally an artist Liz and Nic both love! Liz has committed a beauty faux pas and its made her wonder about all the things she’s done just because the beauty industry (Vogue) told her too. Plus, Liz receives a rather insulting letter in the post.

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In which Liz decides men don’t deserve her

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 16:45:00 +0000

ITV have announced a ‘mature’ version of Love Island and Liz and Nic BOTH want to be on the show - Liz is planning to wow the boys with her antidotes, Nic’s hoping her bikinis will win them over. Liz is still catnip for men (she has three after her at this very moment) but wants to know why any of them think they’re good enough for her. Plus the pair get a lovely email from a listener.

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In which an admirer angles for a visit

Fri, 13 Jan 2023 16:45:00 +0000

It’s Nic’s birthday so the pair are in a celebratory mood - helped along by a bit of Champagne. Liz is fending off yet another of her many admirers but Nic’s got her aim set higher, Channing Tatum to be precise. Plus with only a few tickets left for Liz’s talk, Liz has some suggestions for the types of questions she might be willing to answer in the Q&A (and no, she still won’t say who the Rock Star is!)

If you’d like to see Liz in an evening of shock confessions and hilarious anecdotes, you can find out more here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/in-conversation-with-liz-jones-tickets-491796936877?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

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In which Liz decides: no more unsuitable men

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 16:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have been hooked by the latest revelations from Prince Harry, and it’s reminded Liz of her own troubled sibling relationship. Nic’s not had a great start to 2023 but she’s still adamant it’s going to be her year. The pair look back on the fabulous life and even more fabulous character of the late Dame Vivienne Westwood, and Liz has made a decision, no more dating men that aren’t good enough!

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In which Liz chases a happier ending

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 16:45:00 +0000

It’s almost New Year’s Eve and Liz is making plans for something different in 2023 (but not in a ‘new year, new you’ kind of way). Nic is adamant that next year really is going to be their year, but Liz has heard it all before. Plus the pair look back to a disastrous NYE party with the Ex - at least if your New Year's doesn't go to plan, it won’t be as bad as that one!

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In which it’s Christmas!

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 16:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are full of the joys of the season in this special festive episode of the podcast - well, except when Liz has a run-in with the delivery man. The pair have been to see Rod Stewart in concert and Nic’s decided he’s ‘a pucker geezer’. Plus lots of readers' letters.

If you’d like to see Liz and Nic live in an evening of shocking confessions and hilarious anecdotes, you can find out more here:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/in-conversation-with-liz-jones-tickets-491796936877?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

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In which Liz has a case of cavity emptor

Fri, 16 Dec 2022 16:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are in a celebratory mood after getting another award nomination (they’re very high-brow don’t you know!) Liz is empathising with Meghan after the revelations in the latest Netflix documentaries but Nic’s more interested in all the ‘action’ going on in the new adaptation of Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Plus, Liz has a new man on the horizon, but should she give him a chance?

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In which an admirer makes contact

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 23:05:03 +0000

Liz and Nic debrief after watching the new Meghan and Harry documentary - so far, no one is impressed. Liz takes the opportunity to look back at the article she wrote about Meghan writing motivational messages on bananas for sex workers. Plus, an illustration of how stupid men are when Liz has an admirer contact her through LinkedIn.

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In which an old photo stirs memories

Fri, 02 Dec 2022 16:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic react to the racism row rocking the Palace, and get excited about the first trailer for Harry and Meghan’s new documentary. Liz has been sent an old school photograph, and seeing younger versions of herself and her sister has brought up some bad memories. Plus, all the football’s caused Liz to look back at the time she met George Best’s ex, model Angie Best, to remind herself footballers don’t always make the best husbands.

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In which Liz finds an (almost) dream home

Fri, 25 Nov 2022 16:45:00 +0000

Liz has moved on from ‘standing in her knowing’ and this week is ‘sitting in her authenticity’ - but it’s not helped her find a place for her and the collies to stay for Christmas. Nic’s indulging in her guilty pleasures (chips dipped in butter anyone?) plus the pair have been supporting a charity auction, with the help of Tracey Emin.

If you would like to find out more about the auction for Jenny, you can do so at www.jkrowbory.co.uk

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In which Liz faces an uncertain future

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 16:45:00 +0000

Liz has had ENOUGH of Matt Hancock on I’m a Celebrity and Nic’s been distracted by Harry Styles’s ‘front bottom’. Liz has received an unwanted email, despite the best efforts of her IT department (aka Nic) and it’s not even the worst thing to happen to her this week. Plus Liz has been reminded of the time she took a trip to Dublin to interview Bono’s wife, and wondered how she managed to fall in love with his eyes when he never takes his sunglasses off!

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In which Liz yearns for her old London life

Fri, 11 Nov 2022 16:45:00 +0000

Liz is copying Meghan again and ‘standing in her knowing’ this week. Everyone and everything is getting on Nic’s nerves including the new season of The Crown. Plus, Liz is looking back at the time she interviewed Boy George, and he revealed something he might now regret saying.

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In which Liz recalls her biggest turn-offs

Fri, 04 Nov 2022 16:45:00 +0000

Liz has been to the doctor to figure out how old she really is - apparently, facelifts and Sisley face creams don’t count. Nic has been reading a celebrity memoir and it’s just proved that being famous will never make you happy. Liz has been wondering if she would date herself and has a list of things that give her the ‘ick’. Plus a listener seems to have missed out on a joke.

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In which the energy crisis hits home

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 15:40:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are getting into the Halloween spirit this week by sharing their own encounters with the supernatural. The cold reality of the cost of living crisis has hit home for Liz, plus a survey about the benefits of dating younger men has made Liz look back at her marriage to her (much younger) husband.

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In which Liz revisits the men in her life

Fri, 21 Oct 2022 20:14:36 +0000

Liz has been sent an unexpected gift from New York, and luckily this time it’s NOT from a man. Nic has been to see Comedian Tom Allen, but almost didn’t make it due to a run-in with a curry. The pair are celebrating 40 years of You Magazine and Liz is looking back at all the men she’s dated. Plus a reader is wondering if Liz has any sense of self-preservation!

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In which Liz is berated by the Rock Star

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 15:45:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are taking themselves on a virtual trip to Paris this week - via the North York Moors and Albert Square! Liz is in trouble with the Rock Star after her antics in last week’s column, and the pair are totting up all the money Liz has ever spent on fashion - was really worth it?

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In which Liz is turfed out on the street

Fri, 07 Oct 2022 15:30:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are celebrating breaking the 1 million listens mark this week and Nic has an idea of how they should celebrate! Nic went to watch the film Don’t worry Darling and the pair give their take on ‘spit-gate’. Liz wants listeners to know her life as an award-winning journalist isn’t all glamour. Plus she looks back at one of Liz’s lowest moments.

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In which Liz is torn between two men

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 15:40:00 +0000

Liz is nostalgic for the days Boris Johnson was Prime Minister after watching This England but Nic has a bone to pick with his former Chancellor. The pair are looking back at the time Liz took on Topshop’s Philip Green, and he took her discount card away. And Liz is stuck between two guys and is wondering if either of them is good enough for her.

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In which Liz has a birthday date

Fri, 23 Sep 2022 15:30:00 +0000

Liz is picking a fight with Prada this week after they brought back super-skinny models to their runway but she’s sticking up for Holly Willoughby over Queuegate. Nic’s getting a little witch-y but will her new skills finally help her block white pepper guy from Liz’s life? The pair look back at the time Liz interviewed Spice Girl Mel C and they reveal the one thing Liz will NEVER write about… or will she?

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In which Liz looks back on her life in fashion

Fri, 16 Sep 2022 15:30:00 +0000

Liz spent a night in the queue to see the late Queen lying in state - and made a new friend along the way. She’s also been thinking about the impact fashion has had on her life - both positive and negative - and looking back to the time she went to a fashion show in Versailles. Nic has been reading a book by her favourite author, and the pair have been inundated with letters.

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In which Liz heard the news

Sat, 10 Sep 2022 10:00:00 +0000

Liz and Nic were recording this week’s episode when they heard the sad news of Her Majesty, The Queen’s passing. The pair share their thoughts on her life and legacy. And Liz reveals what happened after her sudden departure from her date with the Rock Star.

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The Funeral, part 1

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 14:30:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have been listening to Meghan Markle’s new podcast, and they think they could give the Duchess a few tips (more bickering for a start!). Nic might have found the solution to her recent illness and Liz has been reading relationship advice, but it didn’t help on her most recent ‘date’ with the Rock Star. Plus the pair look back at the time took her ex-husband to New York AFTER their break-up.

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In which Liz meets the book publisher

Fri, 26 Aug 2022 15:30:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have been inspired by Deborah James’s book, How to Live, and are trying to be more positive. Liz has a meeting with her book publisher and has been to see a new house - but is she ready to start again? It’s all making Liz think about getting older, so of course this week’s archive is on the day she dressed up as the Queen!

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In which Liz goes to the Rock Star’s show

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 15:00:00 +0000

Liz is finally going to see the Rock Star perform, and Nic has been to see a rockstar of her own… The pair have been watching 'Marriage' on the BBC - and Liz thinks it’s too close to her own life. Liz looks back at her wedding day, and wishes she’s spent less, or not bothered at all… and a reader’s been in touch from Tuscany - Liz and Nic are a bit jealous!

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In which Liz remembers her brother

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 15:30:00 +0000

Liz has got a text from a rock star - and it’s not the usual one! Nic’s mum has been unwell, but they've both made the best of a bad situation, and a reader's been in touch with some hot celebrity gossip. Plus, Liz is remembering her talented brother, Nick.

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In which the house hunt is on hold

Fri, 05 Aug 2022 15:25:00 +0000

A reader’s been in touch with some ‘helpful’ suggestions for Liz, and Nic’s been trying to scare herself. Gracie the collie's been a bit under the weather and Liz thinks it’s all the change going on in her life - it’s not good for either of them. Plus, the pair have received some embarrassing date stories from readers.

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In which Liz embarrasses herself

Fri, 29 Jul 2022 15:30:00 +0000

Liz has been watching the Lionesses and has developed a surprising crush on one of the commentators. Meanwhile, Nic has been to see a new play staring Jodie Comer, and it’s brought up somethings from her past. Liz had an embarrassing moment on her recent date with the Rock Star, and now feels a new affinity to Gracie the Collie. Plus, the pair look back at Liz’s worst date ever!

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In which Liz has a very dirty weekend

Fri, 22 Jul 2022 16:00:00 +0000

This week’s themes are breakup songs and Liz hates everybody. She and Nic discuss the books they’ve been reading this week. Nic recounts a traumatic experience from when she was a young girl and Liz realises she actually feels quite sorry for Meghan Markle. Plus, a listener thinks Liz should keep her philanderous escapades out of the ears of impressionable women.

Click the link below to sponsor Nic in her 5 day fast to raise money for Animal Hope Uganda!

Nic's PayPal Donation Link

Animal Hope Uganda's Website

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In which Liz gets excited about David’s visit

Fri, 15 Jul 2022 15:30:00 +0000

Liz is recording this week’s podcast in a bikini because it’s so hot, and Nic has some tips for keeping pets cool in the heat. Liz has been preparing for David’s visit to the Dales (her to-do list includes buying white pepper and getting an extreme wax) but David has other ideas. Plus, a reader has some advice for Nic, don’t give up the day job!

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In which Liz double parks her exes

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 16:00:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have been watching events in Downing Street, and Liz is half expecting Boris to launch into the speech from Love Actually. The pair welcome new listeners with a Podcast Glossary, and remembers the time she made Jeremy Hunt blush. Plus, Liz is at it again, with two men on the go at once!

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In which Liz ponders her bad luck

Fri, 01 Jul 2022 16:00:00 +0000

This week Liz has decided to be more Gemma (from Love Island) and demand the respect she deserves, while Nic is finding happiness in the small things. The pair look back to the time Liz went to Glastonbury, and wonder if anyone is really enjoying it, or just pretending. Plus, a listener is questioning if Liz has really only had three and a half men in her life, or is missing a few off the list…

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In which David drops a bombshell

Fri, 24 Jun 2022 16:05:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have been to the cinema to see the new George Michael documentary, but when Nic showed up late and no-one got Liz’s ‘Annie Hall’ reference, Liz wasn’t impressed. David and Liz have been ‘vex-ting’ (that’s texting whilst vexed) but might it be for the final time? And lots of listeners have been in touch with advice, ranging from hair loss to why Liz really shouldn’t be using bath oils…

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In which Liz waits for a post-passion text

Fri, 17 Jun 2022 16:00:00 +0000

Nic’s been to see Ed Sheeran in concert, and the older ladies in the crowd were having A LOT more fun than the youngsters. The pair discuss the benefits of ageing (namely no longer caring what other people think), and Liz is waiting to hear back from the Rock Star after their dinner in the Dales.

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In which Liz’s laundry lets her down

Fri, 10 Jun 2022 20:00:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have been watching Love Island, and it’s inspired them to rank their top three men ever. The Jubilee celebrations reminded Liz of a time she met a world-famous opera singer, and gave her another glimpse of her muse, Meghan. Plus, Liz finally got to lunch with the rockstar, but it didn’t quite go to plan.

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In which Liz’s weekend loses its fizz

Fri, 03 Jun 2022 16:00:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are getting into the Jubilee spirit, but Liz is only excited about catching a glimpse of Meghan through the window. The pair discuss authors who get embarrassed writing sex scenes, and look back at when Liz became a mother for a day… she lost the baby and treated the 8 year old like her husband. Plus, Liz’s girl friend has come to stay, and Liz is just glad to be spending time with someone normal (ie. not a man!)

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In which Liz would love another wedding

Fri, 27 May 2022 16:00:00 +0000

There a cheekbones theme to this week’s podcast with Liz lusting after Morten Harket and Jonny Depp… but Nic is more interested in Tom Cruise after watching the new Top Gun. Liz is contemplating marriage as a solution to her house problem, but then she remembers she’s Lizzie Jones, not Bennet. And Nic has had some lovely letters from readers about her beloved dog, Charlie.

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In which reality again fails the fantasy

Fri, 20 May 2022 16:23:34 +0000

This week, Liz expresses her frustration with self-indulgent youth and Nic opens up about the recent loss of her fluffy companion. The couple are both feeling quite old as they reflect on this month's edition of Vogue which has Kate Moss's daughter on the cover. Also, a look back on the time Lynn Barber did a profile on Liz for the Sunday Times magazine.

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In which Liz is invited to a music festival

Fri, 13 May 2022 16:22:01 +0000

This week, Liz prepares her body with a fake tan for a music festival, where she suspects she might be a place-holder for a former star who needs a plus one. The couple discuss the many things Liz has in common with a certain high-profile defendant. Also, a look back at the inside of a ‘modest’ football WAG’s luxurious lifestyle.

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In which Liz might have to move again

Fri, 06 May 2022 16:00:00 +0000

This week, Liz is ‘having the time of her life’ and Nic can’t stop thinking about Patrick Swayze. Some bad news Liz hoped she’d avoided has just landed, and the pair look back at Liz’s first home (complete with Laura Ashley wallpaper). Plus, a reader helps put things in perspective.

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In which Liz realises: she is good enough

Fri, 29 Apr 2022 16:00:00 +0000

Liz and Nic have a few thoughts on Angela Rayner and leg-gate. Liz is bringing back Joans Moans, and her sights are set on jobsworths. Plus, Liz has returned to Pineapple studios, and it’s bringing back some memories, both good and bad.

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In which Liz looks back at her life in houses

Fri, 22 Apr 2022 20:41:26 +0000

Liz finally has some good news this week. In honour of getting approved for a mortgage, she looks back at her life through the lens of her various London properties. The pair also wonder when ‘victim’ became a dirty word. Plus, Liz reflects on the impact her pets have left on her.

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In which Liz wishes she’d been more confident

Fri, 15 Apr 2022 16:00:00 +0000

It’s all about confidence this week for Liz and Nic. Liz has been reading a new book, Confidence Culture, and it’s made her realise she was never bold enough to get what she wanted in life. The pair look back at the hardest column Liz has ever had to write, and Nic has set herself a new challenge for the week ahead. Plus, readers had a strong reaction to last week’s column, but Liz isn’t keen on their advice.

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In which Liz wishes she could meet her match

Fri, 08 Apr 2022 16:00:00 +0000

Liz has decided to be brave, and find out what her ex-husband’s been writing about their sex life in a national newspaper. Naturally, she has a thing or two to say about it. The pair wonder why men are only happy in a relationship when they're getting their own way, and Nic has an update on the fundraising for Ukrainian animals.

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In which Liz gets a rude awakening

Fri, 01 Apr 2022 16:00:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are celebrating Gracie’s birthday - but wonder whether they should be counting her age in ruined sofas rather than years. The pair discuss *that* slap at the Oscars and Liz has had a rude awakening from a certain man. Plus, Liz has some wedding advice for a listener.

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In which it's all about Liz's mum

Fri, 25 Mar 2022 23:59:00 +0000

Martin has given Nic a Valentine's present... just a pity it was Covid-19. Liz and Nic are talking breast augmentation - and how Liz got through an entire marriage without taking her top off. Meanwhile, Liz is talking about mother's day - and why her Mum's life put her off having children.

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In which Liz's hopes get dashed... again

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 15:44:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are apart this week, because Nic's other half has Covid - which Liz says ties in neatly with this week's theme, that everything's a man's fault. Liz has been in a Twitter spat again, and has had some bad news - but her usual tactic of thinking about Nigel doesn't seem to be working. Meanwhile, a reader has written in to ask about Liz's secrets (and she reveals one she's never talked about...)

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In which Liz is told she needs another facelift

Fri, 11 Mar 2022 11:25:00 +0000

Liz is worried about the fact that sales assistants on cosmetic counters are now saying, ‘Do you want to apply some NOW?’ when she walks up - and is finding looking in the mirror more stressful than her MRI scan. Lots of readers have written in after Gracie the dog collapsed last week - and Nic’s dog Boris (not named after the PM) is in the doghouse again. Meanwhile, Liz is talking about women who inspired her, like Mary Berry and wondering why everything she cooks turns into a biscuit - even rice pudding.

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In which Liz wishes she was more... normal

Fri, 04 Mar 2022 16:16:00 +0000

It's safe to listen to the podcast this week - as Liz has announced that she is retiring from singing (much to Nic's delight). Nic is enjoying out-of-body experiences, thanks to an astral projection course - and Liz is wondering whether she would still have her fiance if she'd not written about him in her column (and broke the fourth wall, Fleabag-style), and just griped behind his back like a normal person.

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In which Liz wishes she hadn’t blocked her ex

Fri, 25 Feb 2022 15:03:42 +0000

Liz is back from her trip to London Fashion Week - but where she wasn’t very impressed! Meanwhile, Nic is reading '30 Things I love About Myself’ and struggling to write her own list. Plus, readers get in touch about hair loss and unappreciative partners, and Liz and Nic reminisce about that time Liz met a tweenage Justin Bieber.

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In which Liz loses her crowning glory

Fri, 18 Feb 2022 14:10:48 +0000

Nic is having a bad week, she's lost her voice and her boyfriend forgot to book a table for Valentines' Day, but Liz is pretty sure her's has been worse. The pair have been watching This is Going to Hurt, and want to know why the feminists aren't as outraged about animals mums as they seem to be about fictional human ones. Plus, Liz has realised why she was single in her prime, turns out dressing like Adam Ant isn't the best way to get a boyfriend, even in the '80s.

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In which Liz realises she loves being single

Fri, 11 Feb 2022 12:37:16 +0000

Liz is looking forward to a single Valentine’s day this year, where she can enjoy a triple bill of Keira Knightley without cries of, ‘I can’t stand anything with bonnets!’ Meanwhile, Liz is remembering the time she met Prince after seeing him 17 days in a row at Wembley, and Nic is reading a book in an attempt to understand men... but will it reveal why they always put empty bottles back in the fridge?

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In which Liz cancels the pre-date Botox

Fri, 04 Feb 2022 14:12:00 +0000

Liz and Nic are talking about THAT pair of pieces this week (the one where Liz wrote about faking orgasms, then her ex-husband joined in). Liz didn’t read her husband’s bit, as she's practicing self-care, but spent days asking Nic, ‘What did he say?’ instead. Meanwhile, Liz is contemplating unblocking her ex just to talk about Paul McCartney - and listeners have been writing in to talk about their worst-ever dates (but can they compete with Liz’s one where the guy went to the bar and never came back?)

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In which Liz remembers her disastrous dates

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 14:31:02 +0000

With 105 podcast episodes under their belt, Liz and Nic have definitely outpaced Harry and Meghan (who’ve done one in two years). This week, our hosts have been enjoying some winter walks, but they’re not peaceful like they are on television - it’s screaming, panic and pockets full of sausages (but Nic would like to make clear that Boris the dog isn’t named after THAT Boris). Meanwhile, the photographer whose wheelie bin Liz disapproved of has been in touch… and Liz is remembering some dating disasters, like the time her beau did a number two below decks on a small boat in Thailand.

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In which Liz is told she neglects her dogs

Fri, 21 Jan 2022 12:49:00 +0000

Liz used to have a column called ‘Jones moans’ and this week she’s got a moan: about how no one ever sticks up for her (even when people say horrible things about her dogs). Meanwhile, LIz and Nic are discussing Matt Hancock’s torso (and why men SHOULD be ashamed about their ugly T-shirt arms) - and Liz is remembering that time she went to the Dorchester and got into Bruce Willis’s bath…

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In which there’s a gifting mismatch

Fri, 14 Jan 2022 17:06:15 +0000

Someone (a fellow award-winning writer) has criticised And Just Like That for showing that women get old and frail - and Liz wonders if she’s the only one who sees that life really is hard. Meanwhile, Nic is fantasising about marrying a vet (or at the very least Graham Hall off Dogs Behaving Very Badly) and Liz is wondering whether the reason she can’t close the book on the past is that she has to dredge it up again and again for her archive column…

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In which Liz makes another confession

Fri, 07 Jan 2022 15:16:30 +0000

The word of the week this week is ‘blocked’, after Nic’s boyfriend disgraced himself on New Year - and Liz got a VERY peculiar response by text when she sent a gift of a box-fresh iPhone 13. Meanwhile, Liz is feeling sympathy for Novak Djokovic and remembering the time she went back to her old school … and realised she was the only one who wasn’t married.

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In which the Ex makes Liz nervous

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 15:04:06 +0000

Liz and Nic are setting their New Years resolutions, but how do they compare to the ones Liz made back in 2007? Nic is recovering from being offered hair dye as a Christmas present but Liz's Christmas might just have been worse. She's splashed out on a gift for the Ex but what did he get her in return and why does the box resemble cat ashes?!

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In which Liz realises where her loyalties lie

Fri, 24 Dec 2021 12:39:00 +0000

It’s the 100th episode of the podcast and Liz and Nic are celebrating. Nic’s getting excited for Christmas dinner at her Mums, but Liz has turned down an invite to join them. It’s rescue dog Teddie’s first Christmas (well real Christmas as he’s technically had a few already) and Liz is starting to realise why she gets on so much better with animals than humans. Plus, Liz provides a handy guide to exactly what the gift from your partner REALLY means.

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In which there's a new man in Liz's life!

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 10:05:21 +0000

There’s a new man in Liz’s life - but this time, she’s not waxed or even plucked in preparation. The big question, of course, is will the other border collies be jealous of Ted? Liz is reminiscing about the time she visited a homeless centre (and realised that all of us are just a few steps away from being on the streets ourselves) - and celebrating having raised £20,000 for Jenny, who was left unable to move by Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). Meanwhile, Nic is wrangling with a lateral flow test - but does ‘C’ stand for ‘coronavirus’?

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In which Liz learns to count her blessings

Fri, 10 Dec 2021 16:02:00 +0000

Liz was feeling a bit sorry for herself (and thinking she was going to have to buy a hat). But then she got a letter from a reader who described how her daughter Jenny has been left unable to watch TV or even wash. Jenny can't move her neck as it would cause massive damage that would kill her. Liz says her story made her realise her own life isn't so bad - and hopes that she and her listeners can help. www.Gofundme.com/savejenny

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In which Liz dreams of a normal Christmas

Fri, 03 Dec 2021 11:34:00 +0000

There have been two ‘Miranda Priestly’ moments this week, including a late-night call where Liz asked Nic, ‘I’ve got an assistant, why am I booking trains?’ Liz is wondering how people manage a normal Christmas, why she isn’t married to Liam Neeson - and how women actually manage to rustle up a meal every night (tricky considering Liz only has Pellegrino and pomegranate in the fridge). Meanwhile, Liz is talking about the one person from her past who truly supports her - her loyal London cleaner.

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In which the movie star gets in touch

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 13:08:00 +0000

Liz’s spell seems to have worked: the movie star has emailed, and Liz has sent a message so outrageous she worries she has ‘lost it’ - but will he reply? Meanwhile, Nic has started to turn off her phone notifications after 7pm, and Liz is preparing to do the same so she can spend some quality time with Paul McCartney. Liz reminisces about the time Gordon Ramsay tried to teach her to cook - but she asked him if he thought the pasta had had long enough to boil…

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In which Liz learns to lighten up (a little)

Fri, 19 Nov 2021 14:32:00 +0000

Liz thinks that this week’s column should be re-titled ‘In which I have all the sex’, after her hotel encounter turned very steamy last week (even although her Romeo nearly spoiled it all by making a smear with a lemon while making a G&T and failing to shave his eyebrows). Meanwhile, Nic has been for a Tarot reading (but Liz is mainly wondering whether she will start getting up on time...)

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In which Liz reminisces about the good times

Fri, 12 Nov 2021 16:57:19 +0000

Has Liz Jones crossed the line this time? Some readers certainly think so - but Liz is reminiscing about that time she dated a model (one of the three-and-a-half men in her life) - and how it was similar to the ‘modelisers’ in Sex and the City. Liz has emailed a man for no-strings sex, but is making time for dinner with a friend first, and is musing on how she’s like George Michael - she just gave anything to anyone who asked (even including a Louis Vuitton suitcase!)

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In which I email my original dream man

Fri, 05 Nov 2021 16:47:49 +0000

Liz has sent an email to a man she chastely spent the night with circa 1978 (who has now given up being a film star)... and is so excited she's ordered a milky tank top. Liz is talking about THAT piece again, the one where she admitted to trying to steal her husband's sperm, and says that you've got to start young if you want to be a writer, because you have to keep records of all the men you've slept with. But is Liz's total really just three and a half?

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In which Liz glimpses a ghost from her past

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 14:25:00 +0000

It’s Halloween and Liz and Nic are getting in the spirit of things. Liz has spotted a ghost from her own past and wants to get back in touch. Nic has a new man in her life, he’s big, stubborn, and called Boris (no not that one!) Plus, Liz looks back to the first time she met Nigel - should she have had a drink with him when he asked?

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In which Liz wonders, is she all that bad?

Fri, 22 Oct 2021 15:50:00 +0000

Liz is trying to bring a bit of balance this week and is listing all the times she was terrible to men (like the time she asked a boyfriend where his proper shoes were in front of the Maitre d') - but actually, weren't the men worse? Nic has done a charity skydive, and might be about to become a dog parent again - meanwhile Liz is thinking back to her husband and all HIS faults (such as being windy in the bottom area and never opening his post).

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In which Liz is snubbed by the fash pack

Fri, 15 Oct 2021 13:59:00 +0000

Liz’s phone has been going off non-stop - readers have sighted ‘the
Hunk’, photographer Nigel, on Married at First Sight Australia. But
Nigel is looking disturbingly well-fed - has he remarried? Meanwhile,
a new book is offering Liz and Nic some (terrible) tips on love after
50 - and Liz is reminiscing about the time when she was sent out to
report on an earthquake... and arrived wearing flip-flops.

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In which Liz objects to being called a bully

Fri, 08 Oct 2021 11:16:00 +0000

This week’s column reads like it’s Liz’s swan song, her last column ever… which probably means that all her rivals (and all her exes) are cheering. Meanwhile, Liz has looked up the vegetarian photographer’s house on Google Earth to assess his wealth - but is trying to cancel their date, because she’s a bit like Picasso (and if you don’t like the art, don’t date the artist). But then he sends her a very surprising text about a Myla thong…

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In which Liz gives a new man a chance

Fri, 01 Oct 2021 15:10:00 +0000

Sometimes it’s easier to get a new man than a new pair of shoes, Liz muses, as she prepares for a date with a vegetarian photographer (who won’t have seen her Louboutin shoe boots, so she can pretend they are new). The photographer is five foot six, but he has already promised he won't ghost or block her, so there’s that. Meanwhile, Liz and Nic have been watching Bond - but Liz only watches Bond for one reason (the fashion) and she is feeling badly let down...

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