93X Half-Assed Morning Show

Uber Hella Cool Beans

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 15:22:21 +0000

Originally Aired April 10, 2026: Bath water beer. Fighting over the dead. Everything you wanna know about cream pie.

Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/
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Warning: Driver May Be Jerking It

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 14:47:39 +0000

Originally Aired April 9, 2026: Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. Getaway kayak. Everything you wanna know about hotwifing.

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A Tradition Unlike Any Other

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 15:24:23 +0000

Originally Aired April 8, 2026: "God You're Hot." "Big Debra." Everything you've ever wanted to know about fingerless beating up children gloves.

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O.B.C.D.

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 15:31:26 +0000

Originally Aired April 7, 2026: Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Thank you for your cervix. Everything you wanna know about having a ghoul-friend.

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Don't Tell ME Where to Poop

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 15:13:26 +0000

Originally Aired April 6, 2026: Doctor P in the studio. You're invited to the worst party ever! Everything you wanna know about living in a chicken coop.

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Junkie Bump

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 15:00:25 +0000

Originally Aired April 3, 2026: Minnesota State Patrol in studio. Teenagers are scary. Everything you wanna know about pushing a crotch goblin out.

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Ether Bunny

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 14:48:22 +0000

Originally Aired April 2, 2026: Not afraid to eff ugly. Catching up on sleep while working. Everything you wanna know about getting a GWI.

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Happy April Fools Day!

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 14:58:55 +0000

Originally Aired April 1, 2026: Minnesota Wild Marcus Foligno. Don't stop, be leaving. Everything you wanna know about fake farts.

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Get a Job?

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 15:48:48 +0000

Originally Aired March 31, 2026: March Madness poop bracket. Surprise ear sex. Everything you wanna know about taking the written driving exam 139 times.

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Raw Sewage Gas

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 15:33:30 +0000

Originally Aired March 30, 2026: Everyone's on dope. Kangaroo diapers. Everything you wanna know about the XFL fantasy draft.

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Beef Walk

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 15:06:21 +0000

Originally Aired March 27, 2026: Happy 51st Birthday to Josh! Vaping squirrels. Everything you wanna know about getting 86'ed from the bar.

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You Call Those Hands?

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 16:25:37 +0000

Originally Aired March 26, 2026: Opening Day. Truck missiles. Everything you wanna know about using the power of Jesus to rob a bank.

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Toe-fu and Feet-za

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 16:34:57 +0000

Originally Aired March 25, 2026: Drug mule Barbie. Worst first dates ever. Everything you wanna know about the history of the Seattle SuperSonics.

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AEW Julia Hart

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 15:42:01 +0000

Originally Aired March 24, 2026: Wrinkle ranch. Next thing ya know... I was getting a BJ! Everything you wanna about stupid Todd.

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Speed Friending

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 14:56:09 +0000

Originally Aired March 23, 2026: Mansl-Otter. That's a penis. Everything you wanna know about getting Tyrannosaurus-rekt.

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Herpe Island

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 14:53:12 +0000

Originally Aired March 20, 2026: Dagger tag. Prancercise. Everything you wanna know about crack-lorette.

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Yakety Sax

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 16:32:45 +0000

Originally Aired March 19, 2026: The return of Norwegian lungworm. The dangers of speed-twerking. Everything you ever wanted to know about Wiesblatt Syndrome.

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Private First Class Terry Tickles

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 15:09:32 +0000

Originally Aired March 18, 2026: The return of Marcus Foligno of the Manbearpigs. Your coworker C-Section who avoids hard labor at all costs. Everything you ever wanted to know about the 1979 Odor Eaters Classic.

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Hoots McCracken

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 14:52:26 +0000

Originally Aired March 17, 2026: Entertainer C Willi Myles. The return of Ashley...and she's high as balls. Everything you've ever wanted to know about Edward Forty Hands.

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Carrot Maxing

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 14:49:34 +0000

Originally Aired March 16, 2026: The return of Thermos Man. Diarrhea....cha cha cha. Everything you ever wanted to know about Medical Wieners.

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Return of Jungle Jane

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 14:45:58 +0000

Originally Aired March 13, 2026: RIP Hooters. YOU. ARE. BLOCKED. Everything you ever wanted to know about looking like a Penis.

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Gummys From Grandma

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 15:04:42 +0000

Originally Aired March 12, 2026: Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. MILF manor. Everything you wanna know about the strongest scrotum to exist in the world.

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That Hits Like Crack

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 16:29:58 +0000

Originally Aired March 11, 2026: Norwegian lung worm. Literally anybody else. Everything you wanna know about being silently judged.

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Mother's Little Helper

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 14:47:35 +0000

Originally Aired March 10, 2026: Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Time blindness. Everything you wanna know about driving people to military camp in Michigan.

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Your TV is Watching You

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 14:43:10 +0000

Originally Aired March 9, 2026: Doctor P answers medical questions. There ARE stupid questions, and a lot of you ask them. Everything you wanna know about Dana's neck fart.

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Devil Crabs

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 16:47:03 +0000

Originally Aired March 6, 2026: Next up, we'll talk about the primaries. Your wife is cheating on you... and it's awesome. Everything you wanna know about getting drunk with an 11 year old.

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Cinco De Marcho

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 17:08:01 +0000

Originally Aired March 5, 2026: TV shows that NEED to be made into movies. You want your kid to play sports? That'll be 50,000 dollars. Everything you wanna know about Bread.

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I Knew I Heard a Boner

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 16:58:16 +0000

Originally Aired March 4, 2026: Ice dildo anniversary. Mud butt. Everything you wanna know about Boner Bears Chocolate Syrup.

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Train Station Quality TP

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 16:03:26 +0000

Originally Aired March 3, 2026: Broke as a joke. Loving your coworkers. Everything you wanna know about biting a herpe.

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Mystery Bloodbath

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 15:53:36 +0000

Originally Aired March 2, 2026: My micro-penis is smaller than yours! Most popular movie franchises. Everything you wanna know about taser fights.

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Tongue Rubber

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 16:12:55 +0000

Originally Aired February 27, 2026: MN State Patrol in studio. Boozy bird. Everything you wanna know about the burden of being hot.

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Is That a Real B-Hole?

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 15:55:18 +0000

Originally Aired February 26, 2026: Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. PB4WEGO. Everything you wanna know about the lice lady.

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Joth the Goth

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 16:28:54 +0000

Originally Aired February 25, 2026: How to save a (bird's) life. Nuts and nipples. Everything you wanna know about picking up dog poop with your hands.

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Spite Corpse

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 16:29:27 +0000

Originally Aired February 24, 2026: Year of the crack. Global Bartender Day. Everything you wanna know about getting weird with roadkill.

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The People in the Woods...

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 15:36:11 +0000

Originally Aired February 23, 2026: Dr. P answers medical questions. Demon mirrors. Everything you wanna know about mall walking.

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Shirtless Hillbilly Olympic Update

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 16:11:07 +0000

Originally Aired February 20, 2026: What Canada has on US. Triple dick. Everything you wanna know about finding a dragon in the desert.

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"Stroke" and Seizure

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 16:20:20 +0000

Originally Aired February 19, 2026: Pickle assault. How you get a DUI while sober. Everything you wanna know about getting "caught" masturbating.

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Golden Jaw

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 17:10:09 +0000

Originally Aired February 18, 2026: Minnesota Wild forward Marcus Foligno. That girl's a Hoover. Everything you wanna know about vagina boobs.

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Hot Fappuccino

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 16:40:50 +0000

Originally Aired February 17, 2026: "Sting" operation. Pantie stealing cat. Everything you wanna know about a getaway donkey.

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("Best Of"): Frozen Puke, Bruised Coccyx

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 15:51:48 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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Ass Cactus

Fri, 13 Feb 2026 17:37:11 +0000

Originally Aired February 13, 2026: They yell, they scream, they throw up on the floor. Rewriting history. Everything you wanna know about your baby daddy banging your sister.

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Do Babies Fart?

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 17:05:57 +0000

Originally Aired February 12, 2026: Mailing your feces. Buzz balls. Everything you wanna know about evil winning in the end.

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Mus-kie TV

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 15:29:13 +0000

Originally Aired February 11, 2026: Scottish subway milk and cereal duck man. Getting naked at a theme park. Everything you wanna know about deadly kite festivals.

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HAMS 27th Anniversary

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 16:19:06 +0000

Originally Aired February 10, 2026: Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Red Tuesday. Everything you wanna know about a hurt feelings report.

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Scandinavian Elk Fever

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 15:59:04 +0000

Originally Aired February 9, 2026: Dr. P answers medical questions. Thunder box. Everything you wanna know about giving kids chewable laxatives.

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("Best Of"): Monkey Jerky

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 15:34:15 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): Free Beer (Tomorrow)

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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H.A.M.S. 4077th

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 16:14:09 +0000

Originally Aired February 4, 2026: Gassy grandmas. Footloose. Everything you wanna know about key string artillery shells.

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Butt-weisers

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 16:10:09 +0000

Originally Aired February 3, 2026: Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Random celebrity encounters. Everything you wanna know about grandma's cabin.

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Buy N Bulk Ho

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 16:27:17 +0000

Originally Aired February 2, 2026: Fight to the death: holiday character edition, ho. Using a blowtorch on gas lines, ho. Everything you wanna know about punching his hair off, ho.

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Full-Assed Morning Show

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 16:24:12 +0000

Originally Aired January 30, 2026: Cheers > Your wife going into labor. Poop boot. Everything you wanna know about the museum of personal failures.

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Don't Mess with Mom

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 16:31:29 +0000

Originally Aired January 29, 2026: Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. I will put you in my trunk and help people look for you. Everything you wanna know about being caught in a lie.

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Pasta La Vista

Wed, 28 Jan 2026 16:06:55 +0000

Originally Aired January 28, 2026: The bears are coming for you. This is fine, officer. Everything you wanna know about friction maxing.

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("Best Of"): Hatfishing

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 16:04:03 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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They Just Tased Ryan

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 16:09:58 +0000

Originally Aired January 26, 2026: Doctor P answers medical questions from The Brother/Sisterhood. Ketchup goes on everything. Everything you wanna know about minding your business at the local bus terminal.

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Worst Queso-nario

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 16:59:33 +0000

Originally Aired January 23, 2026: Penis cage. Just roll a ball out. Everything you wanna know about shadow people.

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Big Kahuna

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 16:01:17 +0000

Originally Aired January 22, 2026: You bit my nipple! Is that a fresh cow tooth? Everything you wanna know about wearing a banana suit.

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I Am So, So Cereal

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 16:29:16 +0000

Originally Aired January 21, 2026: Cereal behind the wheel. The uncatchable serial killer elephant. Everything you wanna know about being a Ram-ly man.

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Gun-orrhea

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 16:49:03 +0000

Originally Aired January 20, 2026: Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Fish house mishaps. Everything you wanna know about calling 911 over 150 times.

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("Best Of"): Cold Turkey

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 18:32:06 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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Tiny Sin Stick

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 17:39:05 +0000

It's alright, it's okay, you can work for us some day. Gaming grandma goes undefeated. Everything you wanna know about National Do Nothing Day. Originally aired Friday, January 16, 2026.

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Re-vulva

Thu, 15 Jan 2026 15:29:03 +0000

Originally Aired January 15, 2026: Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. Shaq-ing. Everything you wanna know about making a stranger a pizza.

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K-Poo-90-Chew

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 15:35:32 +0000

Originally Aired January 14, 2026: I'll put three in you. Are you dead? Everything you wanna know about a booger wall.

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Choppleganger

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 16:05:37 +0000

Originally Aired January 13, 2026: If you don't use it, you lose it. Pecker wrecker. Everything you wanna know about handsome Squidward.

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Double Dragon

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 15:54:59 +0000

Originally Aired January 12, 2026: Dr. P answers medical questions. Lalala I can't hear you. Everything you wanna know about an elephant serial killer.

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Walrus Penis Bone

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 17:04:59 +0000

Originally Aired January 9, 2026: Let's play mermaids. Birthday dorks. Everything you wanna know about scratching yourself at the urinal.

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Underwater Butt Plugs

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 15:42:22 +0000

Originally Aired January 8, 2026: Your birthday doesn't matter. Mr. Bubble is gonna get a bitch in trouble. Everything you wanna know about nineteen-ninety-nong.

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A Pair of Slippers and a Dildo

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 15:57:08 +0000

Originally Aired January 7, 2026: Drowning the Wookiee. National Pass Gas Day. Everything you wanna know about the greatest pain you've ever felt.

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Park That Bark

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 16:41:32 +0000

Originally Aired January 6, 2026: Six string discount. It's raining turds. Everything you wanna know about unexpected high-paying jobs.

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Plasma-Coladas

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 16:34:51 +0000

Originally Aired January 5, 2026: Restroom reckoning. Hells bells. Everything you wanna know about the most handsome men to ever exist.

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("Best Of"): Don't... CARE!

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): Dog Turds & Distracted Driving

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): Best Time to Have a Beer

Wed, 31 Dec 2025 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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We Didn't Start the Fire

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 16:25:00 +0000

Originally Aired December 30, 2025: Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. Everything you wanna know about binge watching Netflix on New Year's Eve.

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Boogie in Your Butt

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 15:26:55 +0000

Originally Aired December 29, 2025: That might get stuck up there. While you're down there, why don't you ____ me. Everything you wanna know about the Mid-Holiday Season Goat Rodeo End of the Year Tribute Broadcast Celebration.

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("Best Of"): Oops! All Stupid News

Fri, 26 Dec 2025 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): Earwax & Herniated Belly Buttons

Thu, 25 Dec 2025 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): STD Edition

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): Bitch Bricks

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): No Snack For You

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 15:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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Gram-Chowder

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 16:12:07 +0000

Originally Aired December 19, 2025: MN Viking long snapper Andrew DePaola. Camel kick. Everything you wanna know about Santa-philes.

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Dasher, Dancer, Chronic, and Blazin

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 15:52:59 +0000

Originally Aired December 18, 2025: MN State Patrol in-studio. MN Wild Forward Marcus Foligno. Everything you wanna know about the best times to have a beer.

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F The Squirrels

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 16:18:49 +0000

Originally Aired December 17, 2025: Water balloon assault. Donkey punch. Everything you wanna know about cottagecore.

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Human Santapede

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 15:47:42 +0000

Originally Aired December 16, 2025: Entertainer C. Willi Myles in-studio. Absolutely NO SPITTING IN THE PARK! Everything you wanna know about getting "poor" on you.

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The Incident

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 15:46:40 +0000

Originally Aired December 15, 2025: Dr. P answers health questions. Steak, weed, and crab legs. Everything you wanna know about accidentally stealing a baby.

Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/
Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:
Twitter/X: @93XHAMS
Facebook: @93XHAMS
Instagram: @93XHAMS
Email the show: HAMS93X@gmail.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Happy Toys for Tatas!

Fri, 12 Dec 2025 16:02:50 +0000

Originally Aired December 12, 2025: Minnesota Vikings long snapper Andrew DePaola. Boss is in the building. Everything you wanna know about wearing sweatpants to a strip club.

Listen & subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. For more, visit https://www.93x.com/half-assed-morning-show/
Follow the Half-Assed Morning Show:
Twitter/X: @93XHAMS
Facebook: @93XHAMS
Instagram: @93XHAMS
Email the show: HAMS93X@gmail.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

KY-Jellyfish

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 16:25:39 +0000

Originally Aired December 11, 2025: Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. The dangers of Christmas. Everything you wanna know about Serenity Kennel.

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The Pit Stop

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 15:57:34 +0000

Snow facial. Dirt tooth. Everything you wanna know about the unspoken rules of parenting. Originally aired, Wednesday, December 10, 2025.

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Flashlight Headlight

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 15:50:52 +0000

Originally Aired December 9, 2025: World class entertainer C. Willi Myles. OMG SHOES. Everything you wanted to know about 44-year old quarterbacks.

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Ding, Rise Your Dong

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 15:54:48 +0000

Originally Aired December 8, 2025: Rick's Cabaret girls in studio. Fap-sicles. Everything you wanna know about frost jacking.

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Season's Beatings

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 16:45:00 +0000

Originally Aired December 5, 2025: Minnesota Vikings long snapper Andrew DePaola. Minnesota Krampus in-studio. Everything you wanna know about the worst pop culture Santas.

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Live Outdoor Broadcast

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 15:43:44 +0000

Originally Aired December 4, 2025: Spermanent vacation. Come back with a warrant. Everything you wanna know about an 81-year-old true eater.

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Rage Bait

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 16:00:26 +0000

Minnesota Wild forward Marcus Foligno. Meow-chie. Everything you wanna know about smelling animal butts. Originally aired Wednesday, December 3, 2025.

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Hot Brownie Fever

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 16:13:01 +0000

Originally Aired December 2, 2025: Doctor P answers medical questions. Greatest Zachs of all time. Everything you wanna know about burning your parents house down.

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Butt Eggs

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 16:13:39 +0000

Originally Aired December 1, 2025: We're back from vacation! Do you wanna see a dead body? Everything you wanna know about drive-by penising.

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("Best Of"): Goodnight Phone Calls

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 16:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): Killer Kangaroos

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 16:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): Grossest, Adorable Habits

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 16:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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("Best Of"): Booty Calls

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 16:00:00 +0000

The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show.

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Guac-Bottom

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 16:21:21 +0000

Originally Aired November 21, 2025: MN Wild forward Marcus Foligno. MN Viking long snapper Andrew DePaola. Everything you wanna know about Wildflower Cannabis Co.

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