Atonement: The John Paulk Story

6. To Hell and Back

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 06:00:00 +0000

John comes out for the third - and final - time.

In this final chapter, hear John’s journey from shame to accountability, and the hard-won freedom of living authentically.

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Atonement: The John Paulk Story is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Goldhawk Productions in association with Marks Media Co.

It was presented by John Paulk. The producer was Kate Holland.

The Programme Consultant was Patrick Strudwick.

Sound design and audio mix was by Femi Oriogun-Williams.

The executive producer for Goldhawk was Alex Hollands.

For Marks Media, the executive producer was Lyndal Marks.

Thank you to Taylor Chicoine, Anna Stumpf and Kate Mansberger at iHeart.
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If you’ve been affected by any of the issues covered in this series, you can find help and support at the following links:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress. Call or text 988 or chat online.

Crisis Text Line

If you are in crisis, text CONVO to 741741 in the US for free, confidential, 24/7, support.

The Trevor Project

The leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ+ young people. If you or someone you know needs help or support, The Trevor Project’s trained crisis counselors are available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386, via the website or by texting START to 678678.

RAINN

RAINN - the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network - provide free, confidential, 24/7 help. Call 1-800-656-4673 or the website to chat with a support specialist.

If you’re in the UK, please find a range of helplines and support networks here.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

5. A House of Cards

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 06:00:00 +0000

When John Paulk slips into a D.C. gay bar, everything he’s built looks set to collapse.

Caught, exposed, and suffocated by shame, he clings to a lie that fools no one - not even himself.

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Atonement: The John Paulk Story is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Goldhawk Productions in association with Marks Media Co.

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

4. The Gospel According to John

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 06:00:00 +0000

John looks back at the spiritual wreckage the ex-gay movement leaves behind - and the lives it destroys.

Publicly, he’s its polished poster boy. But behind the public halo, he’s drowning.

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Atonement: The John Paulk Story is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Goldhawk Productions in association with Marks Media Co.

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

3. For Better or For Worse

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 06:00:00 +0000

John’s marriage becomes the jewel in the ex-gay movement’s crown.

Soon the couple are everywhere: Oprah, national ad campaigns, even the cover of Newsweek. But beyond the spotlight, cracks are forming.

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Atonement: The John Paulk Story is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Goldhawk Productions in association with Marks Media Co.

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

2. There’s No Place Like Home

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 06:00:00 +0000

John makes his way to the residential program that will shape his life forever.

There, he meets John Smid, the former director of Love in Action. And the woman who would become his wife.

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Atonement: The John Paulk Story is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Goldhawk Productions in association with Marks Media Co.

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1. The Dancefloor

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 06:00:00 +0000

John steps back into the story he once tried to outrun.

Alongside expert insights and survivors of “Conversion Therapy”, John begins peeling back the layers of how he became one of the most totemic figures of the ex-gay movement.

—

Atonement: The John Paulk Story is a production of iHeart Podcasts and Goldhawk Productions in association with Marks Media Co.

—

If you’ve been affected by any of the issues covered in this series, you can find help and support at the following links:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress. Call or text 988 or chat online.

Crisis Text Line

If you are in crisis, text CONVO to 741741 in the US for free, confidential, 24/7, support.

The Trevor Project

The leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ+ young people. If you or someone you know needs help or support, The Trevor Project’s trained crisis counselors are available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386, via the website or by texting START to 678678.

RAINN

RAINN - the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network - provide free, confidential, 24/7 help. Call 1-800-656-4673 or the website to chat with a support specialist.

If you’re in the UK, please find a range of helplines and support networks here.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Introducing: Atonement: The John Paulk Story

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 06:05:38 +0000

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.